The Pursuit of Holli-ness

I’ve struggled with the notion of having a separate weight loss journal – as if the weight loss is a separate part of who I am.

“Holli is this cool-headed woman, trying to get her business together, but that fat stranger really is not connected to her in any way.”

Well, surprise! That person is no longer a stranger, so I will stop treating her as such. She is me and I am her and together we shall achieve a healthier life.

As this blog is titled ‘The Pursuit of Holli-ness‘, it encompasses all facets of my personality and my struggles that make me the person that I am. So I’m funny and quirky, I’m a writer and a tech geek, I’m a traveler and a photographer, I am an introvert in extrovert’s clothing, I’m easy-going and moody. And I am seriously overweight.

There is nothing about me that I want to change except for that very last fact. And that is exactly what this is about.

But this post is not being typed under a cloud of doom and gloom, the sound of a scary pipe organ playing in the background. Anytime that there is an epiphany, there should be choruses of angels singing and images of the sun breaking from behind the clouds. It’s truly a wonderful thing!

My epiphany: I am who I am and I don’t need to be ashamed at having to lose weight. It’s just a matter of me just doing it! (Sorry Nike!) Too many people who are overweight are ashamed to have got to that point and it stops them from taking part in a happier and healthier lifestyle. (Not all, but certainly some people. Myself included, at times.)

So here I am, World: I’m a big girl and I’m not going to take it any more!

My goal is to be down a total of 100 pounds by next March. So far I am down 25, with 75 pounds to go. Do I believe I can do this? Of course I can do it. Will I think less of myself if I don’t achieve that particular goal in that timeframe? Not at all. It is necessary for me to set a goal to shoot for, but it’s more important that I think of it as a guideline and not some measure of my success or failure. If I am only down another 25 pounds, it is still a success because better to be down than up!

I take comfort and joy in the knowledge that I have a strong support system in my friends and family and even on Facebook (52 in 52!). But most of all, I’m glad that I’m finally embracing all aspects of myself – the parts that are succeeding and the parts that need to be worked on. All of it makes up the person that I am – and I happen to like her quite a lot. It’ll just be nicer to see less of her when I look into the mirror!