December 31st, 2009
I know that a lot of issues that I have experienced in my life stemmed from my habit of looking back and dwelling in the past instead of experiencing the present and believing that I would have a brighter future. You can’t see the light that lies ahead of you – or the light that currently surrounds you – if your eyes are focused on the darkness that is behind you. Having said that, I do want to glance briefly into that darkness to recount where I came from.
I began 2009 without a job and without any prospects of what I was going to do. I also performed the yearly ritual of making a resolution to lose weight and forgetting said resolution within the second week of the year. I began to develop strange health issues that were connected to my weight, but I still couldn’t stick with a plan to lose weight. In spite of those things, I was filled with a hope that I’d never experienced in all of my life. Seemed rather unlikely, but I knew, somehow, that 2009 was going to be such a pivotal year for me and I proceeded through the year as if I already had everything that I had wanted.
My secret: Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I voiced my desires and the Universe began to listen to me when I stated the things I knew I was destined to have.
In February, an amazing job opportunity came up and it allowed me to get my finances in order. In May, I began a Weight Loss Challenge and was able to take control of my eating habits and my health, losing over 50 pounds in the process and gaining a better sense of self. In October, an opportunity to travel to New Zealand opened up for me and I have already paid for my trip and purchased my airfare. And now, on December 31st, I am looking back on the miracle that was my year and I am eternally gratefully for all that I have gained AND lost. Everything that happened did so because of a specific purpose and whether or not I knew what that purpose was, I believed that everything would work out as it was supposed to in the end.
And two hours before the new year begins, having glanced behind me to the recent past, I can now turn my head and face forward to stare into the light, ready to embrace each new opportunity and adversity that comes my way in 2010. It is all for a purpose that will make itself known to me at the right time.
Happy New Year, Everyone! May 2010 be YOUR year! Believe it and claim it right NOW!
Categories: health, reflection, weight loss
August 31st, 2009
When I was in the fourth grade, I took a ballet class with Mrs. Glousinger. I’d always been a heavy child, but in that class it didn’t matter. I loved wearing my little pink tutu and tights and I thought I was just as cute as the other, thinner young girls. I’d always been very agile and flexible, so I had no problem moving gracefully from first to fifth position or doing my pliés at the bar. My teacher was always encouraging and she never made me feel that I didn’t belong in there, so I believed that I did. And I danced my little heart away.
That was the last time that I danced for twenty-four years.
Sure, I used to go to the clubs with my friends and we’d set the dance floor on fire when any of our songs came on. But I needed more than a few cocktails to give me that liquid courage I needed before I could step out onto the floor. (more…)
Categories: reflection
Tags: peace
August 26th, 2009
One of the things that kept me from starting a blog was the fact that I couldn’t decide on what my ‘niche’ would be. What exactly would I make the focus of my blog? Should I write about social media from a fanatic’s perspective? What about my successes and struggles as a former yo-yo dieter? Maybe I could have a blog full of strange and interesting lists. Or…
Obviously, I was juggling too many ideas and I had trouble deciding which subject to go with. Not being particularly taken with any one topic, I asked myself the question: Why can’t I be my own niche? I can write about any of the topics that interest me – and then some. And besides, of all the subjects that I know about, the one that I know best is myself.
Writing about yourself? The nerve!
Yes, I know. Shocking, huh? But while I don’t have a ’hook,’ I’m a multi-faceted and well-rounded person whose Google-fu is on overdrive, so I can write about more than one topic. And honestly, the thought of limiting my blog to just one category stifled me. I had so many topics that I wanted to write about, I had a hard time narrowing it down to just one subject. Obviously, I am not meant to do that.
So for those of you who are in the same position that I was in, I have two words for you: Speak out! Have confidence in your writing and know that your words, your experience, and your wisdom have merit. If you feel the need to write, then write! Share your thoughts, your dreams, your knowledge. Share yourself and don’t be afraid to be your own niche!
Categories: writing
Tags: blogging
August 18th, 2009
I’ve struggled with the notion of having a separate weight loss journal – as if the weight loss is a separate part of who I am.
“Holli is this cool-headed woman, trying to get her business together, but that fat stranger really is not connected to her in any way.”
Well, surprise! That person is no longer a stranger, so I will stop treating her as such. She is me and I am her and together we shall achieve a healthier life.
As this blog is titled ‘The Pursuit of Holli-ness‘, it encompasses all facets of my personality and my struggles that make me the person that I am. So I’m funny and quirky, I’m a writer and a tech geek, I’m a traveler and a photographer, I am an introvert in extrovert’s clothing, I’m easy-going and moody. And I am seriously overweight.
There is nothing about me that I want to change except for that very last fact. And that is exactly what this is about. (more…)
Categories: health, reflection
Tags: weight loss
August 17th, 2009
I’d wanted my first post in this blog to be one about the peace and tranquility that I have been seeking. Instead, something happened today that jarred me right out of my peaceful bubble and I realized that I needed to write about that more than anything else.
We’ve all had those times where we’re floating along that lazy river of calm, the raft gently rocking with the current as we moved along the waters of life. And just as we began to drift off into that peaceful nap that we’d been hoping would come upon us for the previous hour – CRASH! We’re suddenly tossed onto the rocky shore, breaking our reverie and skinning our knees in the process. Or maybe the jostling wasn’t so severe that it resulted in the need to be bandaged up. Maybe the raft tipped over and we were thrown into the freezing cold waters which resulted in us having to use extra towels. However severe the jarring, we’ve all been startled from our calm on more than one occasion and it usually was not a pleasant experience. (more…)
Categories: reflection
Tags: peace
I know that a lot of issues that I have experienced in my life stemmed from my habit of looking back and dwelling in the past instead of experiencing the present and believing that I would have a brighter future. You can’t see the light that lies ahead of you – or the light that currently surrounds you – if your eyes are focused on the darkness that is behind you. Having said that, I do want to glance briefly into that darkness to recount where I came from. 
